There naturally appears to be different motivations for it, but have you ever noticed how there always seems to be one or two people forming part of a family structure who assume the role of bringing everybody together? Most who assume this role are oblivious to it, such is the nature of just how naturally and instinctively it comes to them and perhaps you’re that person, whether knowingly or otherwise.
If you previously did it unwittingly then I’m sorry to be the one to point it out, but it’s a good thing in any case and perhaps even the fact that you’re now fully aware it will only serve to ensure you keep at it and always seek to do it properly. Of course I use ‘properly’ rather loosely, because the dynamics around family life are exactly that, unique and dynamic, so it’s all about making-do with what you have to work with, in your own unique situation.
As far as the different motivations for assuming the role of unifier go, I know that in my specific case I just want to make sure my children, their cousins and other family members who are in and around their age group maintain strong family bonds – strong family bonds I perhaps was robbed of as a result of the family members of my parents’ generation falling out. I mean really, is there any bond stronger than that which forms between two cousins, for example?
Cousins that are in and around the same age group tend to get along like they were best friends two of their previous lives ago and siblings in the previous one! It’s amazing to say the very least and is something which should not be taken lightly. One shouldn’t miss the opportunity to foster such bonds…
Another motivation is perhaps brought about by a less painful experience, which is simply that of being the spiritually designated unifier of your family and perhaps even your extended family. All it takes to excel at this role is usually just letting what comes naturally to you take over, such as how you might suddenly feel an inexplicable urge to organise a family get-together, just because!
Don’t ignore such inclinations, even if you start becoming conscious of the fact that you may appear to be the only one who seems like they’re making any effort to keep their family bonds strong. We’re not all assigned this role in life, along with the borderline-supernatural powers to make it happen.
After all, if you’re the one who constantly hosts such events then you’ll likely be the one to frequently receive more than your fair share of thanksgiving dinner gifts and the likes. It balances out like that, but ultimately just making sure to keep contact in this and other ways is all that’s required to keep the family bonds as strong as they need to be.
Do not let it fall into a situation where the family only gets to see each other when there is some kind of tragedy – that’s not a good way to strengthen family ties.